Spicing up a Relationship (April 29,2008)

Spicing up a Relationship
By: Maria Reylan M. Garcia

It has been eight hours now, and I am aware it will take even longer.
It was torture as I saw him leave defeated and rejected; he was too
late it seemed. My heart groped in sympathy as he silently weeps in
pain; my eyes understood and they began to leak in tears. Then I felt
shivers all around me, it was far beyond the pain both he and I
shared. It was too difficult to hold in. I had no choice. His world
came to a pause, I am not sure if he even noticed. The next thing I
know, I rushed to the toilet and obeyed diligently nature's call, my
vision was still foggy as I had been crying for a while. I went back,
spared no more time and pushed the play button on the remote control
and saw him come to life once more. Yes, I was once again enjoying the
bounties of reading the subtitles. Yes, I was watching yet again
another asian drama series in one seating that normal people would do
in three months time.

I had always been a sucker for happy endings where she walks down the
aisle with the theme song sang and flashbacks start to play. Yet, I am
more thrilled with the less loved scenes where she tells him they are
not meant for each other, that he's better off with someone whom his
controlling mother favors more. Although I cry my lungs out with these
sad scenes, I am always fond of expecting more of those than sweet
bone tickling moments. Call me sadistic, but it is when two people
risk happy endings and admit they are not sure of what is to come that
teaches them if they indeed are meant to be together. I may not have
the wealth of experience, but seeing the reality, relationships are
made stronger through difficult times and failures. These gives both
husband and wife, would be lovers, and even friends the chance to
evaluate themselves and see if they need to hold on or painfully let
go.

When my parents fight, it becomes an awkwardly surreal experience for
me. I am afraid of those silent moments when none of them seems to
care. I am terrified of those heated moments when both of them take
turns in a war of words filled with anxiety and regrets. I am most
frightened that in the end I may have to choose whom I'll be living
with after separation. But, the moment they realized it was time to
stop, the moment they realize it was time to rewind and start once
more, the moment they begin to smile at each other again, is when
those fears becomes rightly worth it and meaningful. Their love
successfully passed another heck of an exam.

Fights between closer relationships had always rooted up from one
common scenario. It is when we forget to live together, and start to
live on one's own. It may not appear to be such a huge factor, but
little by little they all clog up until fixing it would be of no use.
Husbands who at times fail to see that a wife need more than financial
stability; a simple hug, a simple kiss, a simple text message telling
his wife where he currently is. These remind her that he values her to
the simplest of his actions, these remind her of a love that requires
no logic and reason, these remind her that he is still brave enough to
break out from that manly pride and show her he cares. Wives who at
times fail to see that a husband has already enough of the nagging and
bickering; a calmer approach to misunderstandings, a sweet smile to
welcome him home, a fiat to the career of taking care of his children.
These remind him that she was that same charming woman he once fell in
love, these remind him that there is still a reason to strive and dig
for the best, these remind him that she is still patient enough to
stick with him through what has been and what will soon come.

Same goes to friends who each have a role, complementing one another.
But the fights they had surprisingly turns out to be one of the
funniest topics they could have during their out of the blue
conversations. Those fights and arguments made them see what each of
them needs to change or improve to keep firm the very roots of their
friendship. Spices adds flavor to almost any food. Same goes with any
relationship. Without debates, disagreements or misunderstandings
there will be no thrill at all. Without them I wouldn't stay eight
long hours reading some subtitles on screen. Without them no one could
say they were meant for each other.

Without them there wouldn't be such a thing called destiny.

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