Getting 1.0 in Daughter-ship 101 (July 24,2007)

Getting 1.0 in Daughter-ship 101
By: Maria Reylan M. Garcia

There I was staring blankly unto a piece of one half crosswise pad paper. My eyes were glued down within its ruled blue lines. Once every second, I would snatch a glimpse of the circled score on its upper right, 39/40. It was all a careless mistake, I was thinking of writing the word “true” but ended up writing otherwise, “false”. Clerical errors were not exactly the main cause for my lapses of consciousness. Mind you, I am contented of what I have. Those several nights of staying up until one in the morning just to crank up my trusty old noodle really paid off. Still, as I went over my answers, I couldn’t help but experiencing the state of feeling two emotions at once. Half of my self was floating in cloud nine but the other half was locked up in the dungeon of dismay. The other half doesn’t contain the aura of regret; I just remembered something more important than getting a high grade. Yes, my friends, there really is something more important than 1.0’s.

These past few days I showed my university how good of a student I can be. But there is one course subject I have constantly failed to pass, and that is, Daughter-ship 101”. Being caught up with all my academic whims unto reaching some 1.25’s and 1.0’s, I forgot to focus and study on a more important lesson. My mother wakes up everyday 5:00 in the morning, and does her usual motherly chores; waking up me and my brother, preparing chocolate drinks to warm up our tummies, setting our uniforms in place, and fixing my hopeless hair. Then, at night she would stay up late with me, as I burn candles to finish my schoolwork. She keeps me company, telling me to take breaks once in a while and offering a nice warm cup of milk to soothe my occasional mental blocks. My father, well, he has a different routine. You’ll hear his snore symphony every God-knows-what-hour of dawn, just because he stayed up late the night before, tiring his brains out in front of the computer, finding ways to market his business. His profits are neither for personal nor on his own accord, but mostly to ours, his family.

This routine of selfless concern from my parents are but priceless and beyond repayment. Now, what was I thinking that a mere scrap of one half cross wise pad paper or some possible 1.0’s could make their day? Actually, these definitely would. Yet, these won’t complete the entire package, these are not enough. I see myself as crap as I thought about how reckless and insensitive I had become.

As my mother would stay up late and keep me company, I answer this act with nothing but pure rubbish. I want to slap myself for my mother. There she was waiting and watching me study, hoping that I’ll finish early and talk to her about all sorts of stuff. Stuffs about what I ate at school during lunch time, about how wide is the circumference of my mouth as I yawned in one of my boring classes, about how many cute guys I spotted within the university. Stuffs like that. Stuffs we used to talked about. Stuffs that I ignored because I was preoccupied with purely academics. I did well and almost perfected my test, but I left my mother heavy hearted during her sleep that night.

It was a Thursday, and fortunately we have no classes on Friday. I happily sat in front of the television goggling my eyes unto the telenovelas as like I haven’t viewed them since summer vacation. Now this is where I turned selfishly naïve. My father peeped through the window and hollered my name, asking if where the cd for a certain software might be. I looked at him grumpily as I childishly thought of how I was distracted with my viewing pleasure. My night ended with some hours of litany and sermon from my raging but still composed father. I’ve learned my lesson. Thursdays aren’t my lucky days. Kidding, Lesson learned: The world doesn’t revolve around me. I have to be extra sensitive.

I cut deeply their hearts. I left scars within them. No 1.0’s or 39/40 grades could mend and stitch back those rips together. That night, I’ll never forget what my father told me, “A person even with all the achievements in life but none of character, I see him as pure poop.” Before I slept that night I looked up at my medals swinging back and forth from the rustling of the evening breeze. I told myself, what really was my purpose of getting high grades and those plates of steel a.k.a medals; wasn’t it for my parents in the first place? I wasn’t living a purpose driven life. I continue on reaching for the stars but my space ship was out of control. Being young and immature is never a reason to know right from wrong. A child’s duty is not mainly to study and get high grades, this is just secondary, what comes first, is loving the reason for existence, and that is his parents.

And there were stubborn mornings. After my mother had woken up early and wash the daylights out of her just to help me prepare, I would simply and insensitively grant her back my rotten tomato complaints. She blow dries my hair and I blow dry out her concern; foolish me. She combs me hair to perfection (only she can do that) and I comb her day with frowns and discontentment. Some parents put pressure to their children of attaining high grades in school; mine are kilometers more considerate. They don’t expect me to achieve, they just want to see me try studying properly and get passing grades. How ironical it is that I would put pressure to myself on my own. Unaware as I am, I want them to feel proud of me, and perhaps and maybe those high grades could tap and mend the broken gaps I committed to them. But this is where I went 5.0 wrong. Dropped Out Wrong.

My friends, I’m not proclaiming that you’ll neglect your studies. I myself will still stay up late at night and burn my candles until it flames no more. But, beside from getting all the recognitions in the world, your family especially your parents have more value than all of these put together. Teachers and friends may give us 1.0’s and praises, but it’s only our parents who can reward us with love among any other. Even if the world may spin back at us and leave us to nowhere, our nanay, mama, mom and tatay, papa, dad will always look for us and push the earth back to spin on its axis. The world today is filled with users and advantage seekers, but never shall our parents be one of these people. They work, toil and even scold us not for their own benefits, but for our own. Why would you waste liters of saliva and crawl to the pressures of work for just nothing, our parents do all sorts of stupidity just for us.

I may be too young to comprehend these all. Forgive me for my lack of judgment and irrelevance of thoughts. Sooner in the future when I’ll be a parent, I’ll understand. Somewhere in the near beyond I might be in the place of my parents and go back to what I have written, that being a parent entails due sacrifices. Thus it is enough and rewarding to the extent, for a child to repay his mom and dad not just with stars on his report card nor 1.0’s on his transcripts but a sincere hug and warm thank yous to everyday acts of love.

The next time I’ll get a high grade on my upcoming midterms (hopefully), I’ll go home with my exam papers together with a smile stamped on my face and a sworn promise to be a better daughter. Hoping that one day, I too might get 1.0’s not just with my course subjects, but on Daughter-ship 101.

Nanay… Tatay… I’m sorry.

(Many thanks to 09184081998, 09177170874 and Dr. Paul Francia for expressing their comments for my previous write up “More than Harry’s Magic”.)

(For comments and reactions please send an email to reylangarcia@yahoo.com or send an SMS to 09186363090).