Picture Takings (May 29,2007)

Picture Takings
By: Maria Reylan M. Garcia

It’s not my habit to join a group picture not unless it would be compulsory or a matter of life and death. I’d rather volunteer to operate the camera and take the picture for the group. Call it a trauma, but the constant series of similar picture taking positions that I had, made me surrender to my dream of being photogenic. At first I thought it was just bad luck, but as it was happening almost always, I knew I was destined to be out of the picture. For every group shots I’ve been, I’m always at the back. Still I was gleaming hoping that when the photograph will be developed, someone will notice how I placed so much effort on my simple yet genuine smile. Fate seems to be against me, as I browse the developed pictures, I realized that only an eighth of my head can be seen while others expose their pretty faces and killer smiles. Since this was never new to me, I just smile and heave a deep sigh. That particular picture would not have given me something to shed a tear on, but the experience while having the picture taken was something worth a box of tissues.

In most picture takings, I see to it and try my hardest so that I could place myself in front before anybody else does, since I am of limited height, I supposedly have the privilege to stay before the taller ones. But no, as the number of people increased, the chance of me getting seen on the photograph decreases; it is inversely proportional if you define it mathematically. They would push me back unaware, isolating me at the back. Now the dramatic era begins, I good-naturedly let them be, I agreed to the fact that I was at the back jumping up and down hoping that even just my smile will be caught on photo. Although it felt bad, although I felt like I was stepped on, I still feel composed and pleasant. But I never would forget the pain and sting those picture taking incidents brought. Then again, I took time to look on the brighter side of pain; I crowned myself Ms. Optimistic once again but with the reward of discovering some things, essential things.

Those people, those friends, who stood out and whose faces were seen superbly on the photos did something more than what I did, to be seen. That is quite obvious. Most of them already have the personality and strong aura that says “Back off! That’s my spot”. Some pushed their selves in. Others squeezed into the tiniest of space. With all of these, I give them a bravo shout and applause. They managed to get themselves in and obtain what they want, really determined and persevering; a way to really succeed. But before I give them another round of claps and cheering shouts, I thought deeply and noticed the unnoticeable details during the picture taking incident. Because of their strong aura and tough personality, I could only imagine how many weak spirits and groping vibes were crushed and tattered. Because they constantly pushed their selves in, how many passive ones were pushed out in turn. Because they squeezed into the tiniest of space, how many frails were juiced out and constricted to a lower self esteem. Indeed, they don’t really deserve a bravo or a soft whisper of cheer. Though their acts were brave and an image of strength, the very thought of stepping other else’s feet and taking advantage of other people’s weaknesses is a major illustration of cowardice.



People used to tell me I have to exert or push myself in to be recognized. No problem with that. Who doesn’t want to be famous? Who doesn’t want to be promoted? Who doesn’t want to be wealthy? Just a few days ago, I was in a room full of talented and intelligent youngsters of my age. It was some sort of an acquaintance party, with noble objectives to promote camaraderie and friendship. I was excited. I even had a bad stomach ache some hours before the activity, but I decided not to be absent, for I want to mingle. I already conditioned my mind since the day I knew of this occasion that I will attend amidst whatever may happen. Purely my mind was governed with the objectives, of pure fun and acquaintance. I never knew that in each of their minds was but a secret competition and caution. Everybody was trying to impress everybody, no, that’s not the right statement. It should be: Everybody was trying to prove he’s better than everybody. Even if it takes back biting others, insulting other participants, laughing at others mistakes, and self appointing their selves as leaders. (Take note of the word self appointing). Once again I was taken back to the exact moment when I was jumping up and down at the back during the picture taking. All of them at the front smiling, beaming with cheer because they can be clearly seen while I was faced with a vague vision if ever my smile would appear on the developed photo.

But with my irresponsible thoughts and childish ideals, I know I can’t change the world. I know I can’t make the world adjust to me, but I have to adjust with the world. I have to play with its game, triumphed with every victory and suffer with every defeat. I can’t tell those upfront of the photos to stay at the back, or those with outgoing personalities to give way for the passive ones. But, I can on the other hand to tell those at the back of the photos to try to be upfront, and those with passive personalities to eliminate their timidity. Still, with a strict advice not to follow the dirty strategies of others, not to step on other else feet, and think about those at the back during picture takings. If I would be granted a chance to stay upfront during a picture taking, I’d savor that moment and pose my greatest smile. But, I would mind my manners and pose being aware that there are still people at the back. That each of our poses and smiles will be seen superbly when the photos will be developed. That no head will be left unseen, no smile will be left isolated, and no one will be at the back jumping up and down desperate for a glimpse.

It’s amazing how a simple incident brought my simple and narrow perspective to think a little deeper. Now, some people will have the clear reason before they misjudge me why I don’t join in group pictures. Someday I may find the solution and the way how to be seen in pictures without blocking the efforts of others, without hindering the smiles of worthy ones. Right now, I’m contented with solo shots, and operating the camera for bigger groups. When I find the solution I’ll scribble again to share.

The next time you’re upfront in picture takings, think also about those little ones you pushed at the back. Think about the wasted smiles that could have been seen up close because of your ignorance.

Your smile ain’t worth for their tears.
Are you worthy enough to Say Cheese!

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